You could be that someone for someone else. If it's anything I've learned within the last few months, it's that we are all the same. Everyone struggles, everyone has something they are going through. And EVERYONE is beautiful in their own unique way. YOU are no exception. If someone tells you otherwise, they are wrong. And you just have to accept that. As hard as it is to see it, especially in yourself, we each have something special inside ourselves - why else would you exist? And you are somebody. Each of us is. We all of the capacity to love and change someone else's life - for the better. To somebody out there, those footprints are yours. Even the littlest comment you make, something you stand up for, or a simple gesture. If you wonder about your footprints, ask me, and I'll tell you. Think of your past, think really hard, and learn to recognize the good things you have done. If something is keeping you from recognizing the good things, then it's time to let go of that something. Because you deserve better. It is vital to see the good in yourself. Besides, how can you see the good in others and appreciate their good if you can't see it and appreciate the good in yourself? Because then, you can enjoy your life the way you are meant to. SOOOOOO... And then, your dreams will come true.... because....
(If you don't know/understand my beliefs, read the entire post so that it makes sense. If you get time, click on the highlighted words to go to links that will explain and answer a lot of your questions. It'll simply explain things so that it makes sense. If you still have questions/concerns, email me at callie.stats@gmail.com)
Well guys.... my phone and camera are in comas. We don't know if they will make it.
However, when I woke up this morning I realized I left my scriptures in Moab. And that's when I realized, I can survive a week without my phone... even weekS if forced - granted it would suck, but I wouldn't die. However, I CAN'T survive a day without knowing that my scriptures are available. I didn't tell anyone, and I didn't show it, but my insides were in panic mode. I prayed over and over again that my scriptures would make it back to me somehow. And, what do ya know!? Makenna (who came back to Centerville this morning instead of late last night like I did) found them and brought them back to me!
I know that it's a simple thing, but it really hit me how much I rely on my scriptures. They mean way more to me than my phone. My phone gives me contact to past clients, friends, family, and basically planet earth (let's face it).
However, my scriptures give me contact to God through the Spirit. Through the Spirit, they lift me up when I am down, remind me to be grateful and humble when my life feels perfect, give me comfort, knowledge, love, and peace, and they remind me where I came from, why I'm here, and where I'm going to be - where I aim to be. I can't survive without them.
And I am so grateful for them. I'm especially grateful for the Book of Mormon. For those of you who don't know much about it, the Book of Mormon is not meant to replace the Bible, but is more of an aid and also contains vital information that the Bible lacks. It is simply another testament of Jesus Christ. As a classified Mormon I study both the Bible and Book of Mormon. While I love the Bible and its stories I grew up with that continue to give me strength, the Book of Mormon is what gives me greater understanding of truth. It is honestly what pieces my life back together when it's fallen apart. My life would be of no value without it, I would have no purpose, and I would feel empty. Instead, my life has value as long as I am living my life as God would have me do, I have purpose as I strive to be God's hands, and I feel spiritually full as I receive a constant stream of love, comfort, and peace.
Therefore, this morning, when I realized that my personal scriptures could be lost, I couldn't help but be afraid. Thankfully, as usual, God answered my prayers and I now currently have them at hand. I am especially grateful to be reminded of how important the scriptures are in my life. I think I needed this experience as a knock in the head, telling me that I take advantage of this precious book. I don't always read it as well as I should. I always make it a goal to read at least a scripture a day, but that is cutting myself short. Sure, reading one verse is better than reading nothing at all, but when I read more than that, ponder, and truly study what I'm reading, then I receive so much more inspiration and personal revelation - prayers are answered, direction is given, and I can feel the love of God. On those days when I make excuses and cut myself short, I am left with an empty cup.
And that is not good enough. I deserve better than that. And God knows that, which is why He keeps telling me through blessings and talks that I need to truly study the scriptures daily.
God tries to get through to each of us continuously, but if we don't do our part and do the simply things like pray and study the scriptures, then we are not giving him the opportunities to do so. We are choosing to cut ourselves off from Him. Why do we even do that? God is only trying to show the love that He has for us by helping us, lifting us up in our trials and burdens, and by giving us direction so that we no longer feel lost. Why would we turn down such blessings?
I am just so grateful for the scriptures. I am so grateful for Joseph Smith who sacrificed so much to save the Book of Mormon and restore the same church that Jesus Christ established when he was on earth. I am so grateful to have a current prophet, President Monson, who gives me guidance just as Moses and other prophets gave their people guidance. I am so incredibly blessed to have the knowledge and to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
Lastly, I'm so grateful that I originally prayed to know that this church is true for myself. Because of that simple prayer, I have a personal testimony based on Christ, not a testimony based on someone else's testimony.
For anyone who questions these things, I strongly suggest you pray for yourself to find out the truth. It doesn't matter what church you are a part of, if you are a part of it because it's how you were raised, or because someone else told you what to do, then you are a member for the wrong reasons. It's not that you are necessarily wrong, it's that you are there for the wrong reasons. To know for yourself, I urge you to personally ask God if the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is true. As it says in James 1:5, "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him."
I am endlessly grateful to be a part of this church and to know the truth. Because of this truth, I have every reason to be happy. In fact, all of my happiness is because of this truth. It allows me to be happier and closer to God than I ever imagined I could be.
It is through this Gospel that my dreams have come true. It is through this Gospel that my dreams continueto come true.
I am so grateful for such a loving God who loves me enough to give me trials that strengthen me and bring me closer to him. I am also so grateful for such a loving God who loves me enough to answer simple prayers and bring about simple desires, such as my desire to have my scriptures back with me instead of lost in a hotel in Moab (which was an amazing trip, if you were wondering).
p.s. click on the highlighted/underlined words to go to links that will explain more. p.s.2. I apologize for being repetitive. p.s.3. Last apology: I'm sorry for errors. I typed pretty quickly without proofreading. p.s.4. leave comments. p.s.5. follow me. If you are reading this, you probably already are. But, if you got here through fb, follow me through fb. just click on the networkedblogs button on the top right of my blog.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Do I have time to do this? Probably not.
I find that I like to blog when I'm happy, reflective, or bored.
Today, I blog because I am happy.
This week, was a little bit difficult. You know how I wrote of my struggle with perfectionism and fear of failure in my last post? Well, this week I've been so incredibly stressed with school because of those two things. I've been WAY too serious for my liking - in reality, I've got to chill.
And somehow, God knew that when I didn't, and he set up different things this weekend that would allow me to get my stress out and let loose.
Work was so much fun this week, I love getting to know these kids and helping them achieve things they've never though possible. While teaching them, I've taught myself - and I learned a REALLY BIG lesson. So many times this week, my little tumblers kept saying, "This is SO hard!" And I'd reply, " It's supposed to be hard. It's what makes you better! And I push you because I know you and I know you can do it!" My favorite part of this encouragement is when they get that huge smile on their faces and they believe the words I say, which I love, because these words are true. These kids are amazing and they do not see their capabilities, so I push them to show them what their capabilities are.
The lesson part: HELLOoOo! This applies to me too! This life, is SO hard. And right now, it's as if I can hear God say, "Callie, it's supposed to be hard. These hard things are making you better, and I push you because I know you, and I know what you are capable of. " Somehow, God sees so much more in me than I do. He knows I can do these hard things. And it's about time I begin believing him when he tells me so.
Now, onto the next thing... One of my best friends, Matt Soelberg, came home from his mission just over a week ago! Last Saturday he visited me at my home, and we just talked for about two hours. THEN (this part really made my day) he came to Logan to visit me and go to a basketball game, and last night, we just talked - again - for about 4 hours. We did nothing else (besides bake muffins). And let me tell you, it was just the best ever. Do you know how awesome it is to be able to talk with one of your best friends in that way after not having seen that friend for two years? Do you know how hard it is for me to keep up conversation for so long with anyone else? Do you know that it made me feel so special that he would take that time out of his life just to hang out and do nothing but talk with me?
He has basically just reminded me of why I love these guy friends from high school so much. To me, they aren't even high school friends, they are life-long friends. They have always made me feel special and of worth - like I'm different than every other girl in the world. In the summer, I felt special all summer long being one of the only Americans/Mormons in Sun Valley, and being a counselor at EFY. Well, I finally have that special feeling back - and not necessarily because I'm different than everyone else, but simply because I am me.
Lastly, I LEAVE TO MOAB TODAY to go hiking with one of my other best friends - Makenna Blaser! Basically, her dad goes biking with his buddies while Kenna and I go hiking. And even though her boyfriend is coming, she STILL invited me to come again this time, and that makes me SO happy! Most girls forget their friends once they have a boy in their lives. However, the great thing about this friendship that we have is that it doesn't matter what life situation we are in - we will always be friends. It also doesn't matter how long it's been - we will always act and talk like we've just seen each other the day before.
God knew I needed some carefree moments this week. And now, here I am, with a great weekend and I'm so grateful to get away from those things that have stressed me out so much! It's so good for me to remember that it's OK for life to be hard, that I don't have to have a label on my head to feel special and of worth, and that I have friends that I can rely on to always be there! Also, just a week ago, I had entirely different plans for this weekend. It's funny how God works like that - He has entirely different plans than we expect for ourselves. It always ends up that way somehow! Yet, I always end up happier with his way than I would my own. I am so incredibly blessed.
Hopefully not too vulnerable.... it could be worse.
Also, the words in bold aren't necessarily the secrets. It's underneath those words that tell all.
I want to drop out of school for this semester.
Seriously.
I've never had such a hard time doing homework and studying
in my life.
I'm so distracted.
And even though I want to drop out,
I won't,
because I don't quit.
I won't quit.
Which really sucks right now.
My new hobby is exercising.
It's the only time when I feel as confident as I should be.
I don't do it in attempt to get skinny.
And I don't do it because I hate my body.
I do it because I love it.
I am blessed with so many abilities, and not recognizing that would make me so ungrateful.
Do I often wish I looked different?
Heck yes.
However, exercising let's me know that I'm stronger than I think.
I have no limits.
And honestly, going to the gym is
MY FAVORITE PART OF THE DAY.
It's so much fun, it should be illegal.
I am in love with a boy.
I don't know if it'll work out
Which is why I won't tell you who it is.
Only time will tell.
I'm scared of friendship.
I live in a world where friendships last forever.
And in reality, not all of them do. In fact, few do,
Which I understand is a part of life - but for me, it doesn't make the hurt any less.
So many of the ones that I truly valued, that I thought would last forever, have been forgotten.
But not by me.....
And now, I just don't want the amazing friendships that I have right now to end.
However, it makes me value the friendships that have passed the test of times.
And I know that someday, old friendships will be restored.
Let me explain it... you know how a girl gets hurt a lot by a boyfriend, and she ends up putting up a wall hoping someone will someday break through it?
Put that in a slightly less harsh situation based on friendships.
If that even makes sense.
But when someone breaks through that wall, I know I can trust that person to be a true friend.
Not a perfect one.
A true one.
It's easy for me to feel left out.
I hate how easy it is - it drives me crazy!
I hate it when people in your group of friends try to make others feel left out on purpose.
It's not cool to tell secrets in front of someone else.
It's not cool to ignore someone.
It's not cool to make someone feel like they don't belong.
It's not cool to "forget" to include someone.
Especially when you know you're doing it.
You're so dumb.
Which is why I shouldn't care about being your friend in the first place.
You are too careless for me.
Why would I want to be friends with someone like you who would do such a thing?
WHY?
Because there's this voice inside my head that says, "Be a friend to everyone! Love everyone! Forgive everyone!"
Dang you Voice! Dang you!
I know, I know, it's not your fault Voice.
You just happen to know that everyone should be a friend to everyone.
Because that's the way it's supposed to be.
But this thing called pride is trying to destroy that.
I have a fear of failure.
I have recently learned that I am such a perfectionist, that I have a fear of failure.
It's why I'm so bad at making decisions (even little ones), because I fear making the wrong ones.
And I value the opinion of other's too much.
I don't want to fail them as a friend by disappointing them, hurting them, or making them sad.
I want what they want,
and too often forget that what I want matters, too.
I tend to focus on being perfect, instead of being better.
Do you know how stressful and hard it is to be perfect?
However, being better than I was yesterday
is something I CAN do.
I'm not perfect!
Gasp!
I'm pretty sure that's not a secret though haha
It doesn't matter how bad my day is, or if I'm going through a hard trial,
as long as I can see someone else smile.
That genuine, sincere, real smile.
The kind that crinkles the eyes and let's a person's real spirit shine through.
I know that it's so cheesy, but it's always been true.
I've been told that I smile a lot...
but it makes it so that I can see someone else smile, too.
Smiles are just so easy to pass along, that I can't help it.
It's actually a selfish thing: I smile, so that I can see others smile because it makes me happy.
It's probably why I LOVE my job and my past jobs that have to do with children...
they never fail to smile.
I can always get them to smile! It's so easy!
Even the girl who never smiled when coming to gymnastics...
she now smiles EVERY time I talk to her.
And it makes my lifetime.
Smiles just make my life.
Period.
Just an end note to explain the last secret... here is a video that I live by...
I don't know why I'm blogging... I just have this feeling I'm supposed to.
In fact, I don't know why I even have a blog
or why I'm at Utah State University
or why I live in this apartment
or why every job that is handed to me has to do with children.
Why am I where I am?
Why am I around the people that I am?
Why am I the way I am?
Why am I who I am?
WHY! i DoN't GeT !
Why?
Because it doesn't matter if I get it.
Because God gets it.
What matters...
My blog makes me feel like I matter. Every now and again, someone reads it - woot woot!
Utah State University is fun.
And it's where I learn.
I'm learning a lot in my apartment. The strength of people blows my mind.
I love working with children. It's sometimes crazy how well I fit in with them.
They are about 10 million times more creative, loving, and accepting than grown ups are.
They are also 100% themselves, which makes me feel like I can be myself, too.
I am happy where I am.
The people around me make me smile andlaugh or grow stronger.
I am the only me, the way I am makes me unique.
If I dis myself, I dis one of God's creations, therefore, I dis Him. -->reality check
In the end
God has His reasons
And I don't have to know them
Because He has a plan for me
And that's one thing I can trust.
The "whys" don't scare me anymore
It's not the "whys" that matter
Because I already know the end of my story...
HAPPINESS.
WHY? is the end of my story happiness?
ONE I CAN ALWAYS ANSWER
BECAUSE GOD LOVES ME
I AM HIS DAUGHTER
A PRINCESS THAT WILL ONE DAY BE IN HIS KINGDOM
WITH THOSE I LOVE MOST
FOR ETERNITY
AND HE WANTS ME TO BE HAPPY
WHICH IS WHY I AM ON THIS EARTH IN THE FIRST PLACE
PERHAPS THE ANSWER TO ALL "WHY'S?"
IS HAPPINESS
Friends bring happiness
Families bring happiness
Love brings happiness
Random adventures bring happiness
Knowledge brings happiness
Health brings happiness
Experiences bring happiness
Even the hard parts of life, the things listed above that just don't work out, or anything that may be troubling you....
To Satan, they are stumbling blocks that keep you from happiness.
To Christ, they are stepping stones that bring you closer to him and make you stronger,
and ultimately bring you more happiness.
So when trials and tribulations do come... it's up to you.
Do you choose stumbling blocks
Or stepping stones?
At the moment, it's just nice to not have to worry about the "whys" and let my life be led by God. He has the reigns of my life, and I'm giving Him total control. My life...
is His.
No human being can make a plan that will bring me more happiness than God's plan.
p.s. I LOVE FALL!!!
p.s.2. Leave comments! If you have any answers to my whys or whys of your own, share, share, and share!
1. Cartoons. Do I realize they aren't real? Yes. Do I still try to adopt some of the traits of main characters? Yes. Are cartoon princes and heros attractive? Yes.
Thumbelina. Such a classic fairy tale. Thumbelina goes through such hard trials,
but she never stops believing in her love for Cornelius.
OH yeah... and it's main message... "ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR HEART!"
it also contains my favorite cartoon love song "let me be your wings, let me lift you high above, everything we're dreaming of will soon be ours..... every day I'll take you higher, and I'll never let you fall." I know I know, me being the cheese ball that I am. I give you permission to laugh.
Beauty and the Beast. Belle sees the best in EVERY situation... and in every person.
She has such love for those around her and
loves to dream about living the kind of life she reads about in books.
She's so smart and is just good all around!
Most of all, she never settles for less.
Spongebob Squarepants. YUP - I LOVE this cartoon.
He's a goofy goober, and I'M A GOOFY GOOBER!
Anime. My favorite? Rurouni Kenshin.
He used to be an assassin and then he saw the light, changed his ways,
and vowed to never kill again... so then he injures to protect.
He acts all tough on the outside, but on the inside, he's just a softy.
And his story includes love...and I love love. And him.
My brother and I watched EVERY episode of Kenshin in high school!
If there ever was a hero, it's Kenshin - defeating the evil guys one by one - over and over again!
2. The sound of glitter...... like when you are watching a movie and something (or in the case of twilight, someone) glitters and you can hear it happen! Let's face it, I love glitter. period.
3. Kid's cuisine. If it's been a bad day, kid's cuisine is the way to go. I don't get it often, but when I do, it's great. How can you NOT feel better when you are eating fun shaped chicken nuggets and pudding with sprinkles?
4. Long car rides.
If I'm by myself, I can let my mind go blank and
sing along to my music at the top of my lungs. Do I risk getting caught
dancing by myself in my car? You know it!
If I'm with people and it's a long LONG ride, then we just talk and talk and talk, and
then deep topics of life come up, new ideas, thoughts, and new perspectives.
I love having conversations that are about the important things. Most of all,
I love knowing what others are thinking about.
5. A new dress. And how that new dress makes me feel.
6. Feathers. They make me feel like Pocahontas.
7. Moving water - rivers, oceans, as long as it's moving. My favorite is to walk in the middle of a creek or river, trying to stay right side up!
8. Things or places that have something unique about them.
A fence made out of skis in Sun Valley, ID.
People have begun donating their own skis to this fence to take part in the fun!
Gargoyle between trees by a log cabin (kinda hidden, as in something you had to look for).
With a gypsy caravan!
9. Homes and things that have an old romantic look to them.
10. Good old-fashioned letters instead of emails. It just makes you feel special when someone has taken the time to write and send a personal letter. It's so exciting to not know when a letter is coming - it's a SURPRISE!
11. Little random things that people say or do that make me feel special. Sometimes, it's just the little things that matter, not so much the big things.
Like a simple comment on facebook
Or hearing someone talk about me behind my back...
and instead of bad things, they are saying good things.
Or maybe.... a song dedication from..... someone from far away.....
that let's me know that they do miss me after all....
12. Soft blankets - I can never have too many (best Christmas gift ever).
Hmmm... doesn't that look so nice?
13. The color..... PURPLE! I don't know why... I've just grown to love it recently. (Don't worry aqua, I still love you, too)
THE END :) these are just a few of my favorite things.
Hmmm... doesn't that look so nice?